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[23 Jan 2008|12:43am] |
MISSION FAILURE!!!!!!!! ARAGHGH!!!!!
I tell you, it's better to make a move and get shot down than to not make a move, but it still sucks!!!!
How will I recover from this setback???
Only time will tell.
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| Ron Jr. |
[16 Jan 2008|03:15pm] |
Every day, I sit around waiting until I'm tired enough to go to bed. That's my schedule.
I feel like I'm wasting time whenever I'm not hanging out with other people or meeting new people, but until it's warmer, I'm completely incapable of social interaction.
I was glad to get out of a relationship in the fall, but 2 months later, I'm thinking I'm a fucking idiot.
What do I want out of life? Why does it never work when I get these things? Will I ever be able to be happy without self-destruction and escapism? It's getting to the point where living a normal life is not worth the amount of suffering I go through to keep it up.
I hate college, I hate the future, I hate work, I hate social isolation, I hate feeling like I get absolutely nothing out of the people around me, I hate life, I hate myself.
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[05 Dec 2007|06:09pm] |
somehow, once or twice a year I end up at a point where I dont have any friends.
I get sick of people, people die, people move, nothing feels exciting.
I hate this shit.
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[08 Oct 2007|02:11pm] |
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DJ Livejournal suggests that everyone I know right now misses a time when getting a day older was an accomplishment. Why do grown ups spend so much time getting unconscious? My guess is that it dulls our awareness of time, when existing successfully in time requires some trajectory or plan. It's like relationships that need to be going in some direction or else they end. Growing up is an end in itself, once you get there, it's hard to just chill. Oh well.
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[25 Apr 2007|05:37am] |
In spengler's view, Christianity provided and continues to provide a place for people to go following the subsumption of their tribal and national particular identities - viewing its church as a people called out from among nations, recast as honorary jews. Given Europe's fragmentary origins and Christianity's role as a homogenizing agent in the forging of its singular identity in Christendom, it is really easy to see it as the logical and necessary precedent to modernity's hallmark cosmopolitanism (i.e. the root of everything I identify as inhuman about contemporary civilization).
I repeat this from time to time; this is and will probably continue to be the central conflict of my intellectual life.
Will, we've got to chill.
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| FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME~ |
[10 Dec 2006|05:27am] |
FUCK ENLIGHTENMENT THINKERZ, DIVINElY INSPIRED HUMAN MORAL IRRATIONALISM IS THE ONLY THING THAT STANDS IN OPPOSITION TO THE SSUBSUMPTION OF ALL HUMANS INTO THE RATIONAL ENFRAME-MENT OF THE TECHNOLOGICAL SUPERSTRUCTURE.
REASON VS. REVELATION 2K7
IT'S AN ALL OUT BRAWL
WE WILL REFUSE INTEGRATION
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[29 Sep 2006|05:01pm] |
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music |
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the commodores |
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I'm going home again tomorrow, which always makes me really sad. Having roommates is scary. Sometimes at the apartment, everyone is laughing and hanging out, and it feels like a surrogate family, which bums me out, because I don't want to move to another stage in my life, because I still haven't straightened shit out in the other one. Then I watch the office, and I wonder what will happen when I'm 30. I really like getting older, and I'm pretty sure I'll be happier then than I am now, just like I'm happier now than I was at 10. I just wonder what's gonna happen to everyone else.
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[13 Dec 2005|06:18am] |
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music |
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spirit of versailles |
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The sun hasn't risen and I already know it's going to rain or something.
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[06 Dec 2005|05:00pm] |
Well, I finally stopped crying and listening to September long enough to go to class and BEAT THE LIVING SHIT out of my latin exam.
cool, right?
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[28 Nov 2005|04:39am] |
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music |
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Elliott Smith |
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Winter reminds me of giving people hugs, getting shitfaced like highschoolers with best friends, and feeling alot cooler about myself than I probably should. I miss going to shows when there's snow on the ground, because it feels more like everyone is huddling together. Everything will come back.
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| I REALLY WANT TO READ EROS AND CIVILZATION |
[08 Nov 2005|05:36pm] |
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mood |
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GROWN UP |
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music |
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MAN OUT OF TIME BY ELVIS COSTELLO IS FUCKING AMAZING |
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The prioress in Canterbury Tales had some sort of coat of arms somewhere that had a big A and above it, a crown.
Below the A, it said Amor Vincit Omnia.
I guess I used to believe that until I realized that whether you base your life off of the primal instinct that drives you towards life, or the primal instinct that drives you towards death,
you're still basing your life off of a primal instinct.
Logos Vincit Omnias.
THE IMITATION OF CHRIST
Like it or not, we're the only game in town!!!
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[20 Sep 2005|06:57am] |
I don't know if I value people more than I value the truth.
I do know that any situation that could possibly bring me to ask myself this scares the shit out of me.
Incidentally, Taylor, if you still read this, it isn;t about you, it's about Eugene Rose.
And Will, if you still read this, reply or something.
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[12 Sep 2005|11:50pm] |
NOT THAT THESE HAVE ANY APPLICATION TO MY LIFE
BUT GOD DAMN
When I was young I knew everything,
And she, a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt-stricken, sobbin' with my head on the floor
Stopped a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice, no...
BRIDGE:
Can't be held responsible
She was touchin' her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
CHORUS:
For the life of me
I can not remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me
I can not believe we'd ever die
For these sins
We were merely freshmen
My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept
And now he's guilt-stricken, sobbin'
With his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he said
We tried to wash our hands of all of this
We'd never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt-stricken sobbin' with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip we'd say...
we were merely freshmen
we were only freshmen
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[30 Aug 2005|10:54pm] |
I am worried that my options are quickly becoming:
A.) Know Taylor Cordle
B.) Graduate College
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| Sheep May Safely Graze |
[15 Aug 2005|03:05am] |
If you don't like air on g by Bach, you've got no heart.
If you don't like "Ella Guru" by Captain Beefheart, you've got no brain.
If you don't like "Igor, my girlfriend dumped me...let's write sad songs" by Neil Perry, I guess you've just got no penis.
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[12 Aug 2005|11:56pm] |
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CAN'T WAIT TIL 12:30
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[13 Jun 2005|11:17pm] |
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Nietzsche was wrong because he thought that when the masses accepted the death of objective absolute truth, they would begin to avoid nihilism through other means - creation, experience, and beliefs. He was wrong because I've given up any source of meaning that lacks utility, God still exists, and society won't fall apart.
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[19 May 2005|07:03pm] |
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I try to do nice things for people as much as possible, but whenever I do, I wonder if I'm doing it because I actually care about them, or because I've been sort of programmed to know what the right thing to do is. Then I yell "Who gives a shit? All that matters is the utility of the thing, and the world is closer to being fair and right and good, regardless of why you 'really' did it" Then I get drunk and listen to Pig Destroyer.
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[16 May 2005|04:20am] |
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it's in the east; in on the kill taker.
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